It has been 1 week and 1 day since I had another human being to share parental responsibilities with. I feel that I am losing some sanity with each passing day. The children have torn the curtain down from two different windows in an effort to make a fort. I have not run in way more than two weeks. I can't recall exactly how long it's been, but it is definitely well beyond two weeks. I have showered only every other day (if that). The younger human child is a participant in potty training and has urinated everywhere. Everywhere. I sent both children outside today so that the house could be relieved, momentarily, of the destruction being brought upon it. While outside the children received word of a buried treasure hidden in the bottom of a large flower pot. The back deck is 100% covered in black potting soil and it has now begun to rain. Some of the dirt made its way inward, getting as far as the kitchen counter. I should have known that I cannot keep wild animals in a domestic setting. They are absolutely ravenous. I caught one of them finishing a jar of Nutella with his bare hands. But this does not satisfy the human child's appetite. The children do not want to be fed. The children want to hunt.