I feel like my last few blog posts have all been bitchy or winy.
It's a new world that we're in now, and some days I don't know what to make of it. In Charlotte it was easy to just be us. We did what we wanted, how we wanted, when we wanted, with mine and my husband's work hours being our only restrictions. We had a few friends through IKEA but we weren't involved members of our local community, so there were never any standards to live up to, no crowds to follow... really just no one else involved in our lives. Not knowing anyone is actually very liberating. You never have to explain anything.
Today the school counselor called to ask if everything was OK at home. She said that my daughter had told her teacher that she didn't have enough food. The counselor then offered me the reduced lunch program. I was humiliated. I asked my daughter about it when I picked her up. She claimed that the faculty said her lunch "wasn't a good lunch" and that "It needed a sandwich". This is all just what she said. I don't really know what happened so my husband is calling tomorrow. I was taking it too personally and getting emotional so it's best that he do the talking and figure all this out.
Her lunch today wasn't awesome by any means, just a big bag of gluten free pretzels and an orange that I peeled and sliced. My only goal with her lunch is to pack something I know she will eat (although that list seems to change daily) and that is not packed full of chemicals, fat and sugar. I sometimes let her buy her lunch but it's rare. She had a school lunch on the day that I volunteered in the cafeteria and I noticed that most of it went into the trash. She just likes the act of going through the line and purchasing her meal. Basically, her lunch is a filler and she gets more substantial stuff when we're together. Like the quinoa zuchinni lasagna we had for dinner.
I hate thinking about what anyone else thinks about any aspect of my life and it seems like I've been doing that more and more lately. Someone mentioned how scary it was to run in town after dark the other night. Um, I live in town... after dark. I'm starting to think that there is some sort of stigma attached to being a townie (<that's what I'm going to start calling myself). I'm pretty sure most people think we don't own a car since we walk to and from school most days (and because 3 people have stopped to offer us a ride). And now every time I pack a lunch, I'll have to think about someone else's opinion of it.
It's hard to believe that I was raised in this area, because so often it feels like I don't belong. It is getting better though. We just ran a 5k last weekend. All five of us, Brad with the double jogger and me with the single, and it felt like we were getting back to just being us. Next on the agenda: A camping trip. I just want to be sitting around a fire with my best guy while our kids are konked out in the tent after a long day of tromping through leaves. When we hit these rough patches in Charlotte we would always take a day for some "mountain therapy", and it always worked. The bare elements of earth are always able to clear the mind and put life in perspective.