Monday, June 6, 2011

Mentally unstable

So here's a tidbit about me that maybe you didn't know. I am a mental and emotional wreck about 80% of the time. I tend to over think shit way too much.

The last few days I've been all bent out shape because of my job. Why? Because I honestly don't know what the hell I'm doing. Running hasn't been going all that well either. My 7 mile long run over the weekend was awful. It was hot as hell and I didn't take enough water or any GU at all! What was I thinking?! Then today, I almost ended up crying toward the end of a 6 mile run that was a little better, but almost as pathetic as the 7 miler. Don't feel bad for me, sometimes I just need to purge the emotion.

Anyway, I'm totally insane and I need to work myself out of this mental shit hole. I have also decided that I will say shit as much as I want on this blog. I've always been a bit afraid of swearing because, what if my parents read, or my grandmother in law? She just recently got an iphone and has been all over the net. Which also means that I am officially the last person on the planet without an iphone.

Running is what gives me confidence when I'm unsure of my abilities, but lately it has done just the opposite. This leaves me feeling uncertain of my ability to succeed in other arenas. I called C25Karen for a little moral support earlier today. A few years ago she was doing the job that I currently do and she did it well. Hopefully she can teach this young grasshopper a few tricks.

Later shitheads :)


  1. 1. You do realize that nobody starts out a job knowing what they're doing, right? Just fake it!
    2. GU for a 7 mile run?
    3. iPhone? My phone doesn't even have a camera!

  2. Girl you need to chill out! Fake it till you make it! Take a deep breath and snort some wine. You will feel better. Are there any running groups near you? You have time to get ready for the marathon. Do short easy runs until you get your job settled in! Then snort some more wine.