Monday, October 1, 2012

Balloon Popper

I know my posts are few and far between.  Oh well.  It's my blog and I'll write when I want to!

I had just started to feel like a runner again when my husband went back on the road.  He just finished one week in Sweden and now he has one more week in Philly.  I hate to make excuses but it is really difficult to run when he isn't here.  Plus, I still have one flat tire on my jogging stroller.  I did have two flat tires but I went to Wal-Mart for a couple of inner tubes, one self repairing expensive tube and one cheapy Bell tube.  I only got the expensive tube because there was only one Bell tube left.  When I got home Brad was a little peeved that I had forked over a whopping four extra dollars.  Well guess what?  That piece of shit cheap tube was flat two days later.  So I went back to two different Wal-Marts and one Target to find more of those good tubes, but nobody had them.  BUT before Brad left I had a couple of really great runs.  One of them was with the Frisco Running Club.  It was 3 miles at about 11 min/mile which is a lot slower than I once was, but great progress for me right now.  I was even pushing the puke barrier toward to the end!

Oliver is getting bigger and sleeping pretty well at night.  He's at the "I can get him to smile very randomly and only for about 2 minutes" phase.

 I haven't been running, but I have been walking quite a bit.  Almost every day the kids and I walk the oldest to school.  Oliver is strapped to my chest with the Moby Wrap and then Braden (the one everyone thinks is a girl because of his blond curly hair) and Alaurie walk/dilly dally/play with sticks beside me.  It's about 0.6 miles one way.  And takes us nearly a half hour.  I am learning patients.

 Last week was a little rough.  Brad left on Friday and then on Sunday things seemed to be falling apart.  Or at least it felt that way in my head.  We woke up really early to go to the Plano Balloon Festival where my dad and brother were running the 1/2 Marathon.  It was all going pretty well until Braden had the melt down to end all meltdowns.  Part of it was a lack of sleep from the night before and part of it was that he has just been down right bratty and acting out for a while now.  It was one of those freak outs where the kid can't even breath because they're screaming so much.  Yeah.  Un-f@#&ing-acceptable.  They got these beach balls shaped like hot air balloons and then got their faces painted and then they thought they were entitled to everything that existed that was fun.  I couldn't go into full blow "hell mom" mode because we were with family so I had to just smooth things out as much as possible and maintain peace.  Then as we were leaving, Alaurie had to pee.  I sent her down to the porta potties with my brother and I could see both of them from on top of the hill.  I could see her opening a door, then closing it.  Opening another door then closing it.  With each door closing her pee pee dance became more agitated.  My brother was doing NOTHING to assist!  Finally she stopped and just stood there.  Yep.  She pissed herself because all the toilets were dirty.  I love my brother, but he is a clueless douche when it comes to children.  I asked him to hold Oliver for 3 seconds while I readjusted the Moby Wrap and he held him out away from his body like a rotten fish. 

After the festival we all went to eat at a local restaurant where both kids were just not cooperating or listening to me.  They know I won't bring down the hammer in front of the grandparents.  My dad seems to forget how strict he was with my brother and I.  He's this huge softy now that I don't recognize at all from my childhood.

So the kids were a huge hand full and then at the restaurant he drops a bomb on me that he's bringing his girlfriend's parents over to my house that Friday!  What, what?!  He's telling me this and all I'm seeing are the these two demon children and a house that at that moment was in complete shambles.  It was overwhelming.

THEN after we finally get home, the boys and I took a nice long nap.  When I woke up, I walked into the living room in my underwear (It's MY house!  I'll do what I damn well please!) and to my surprise two of the neighbor kids are sitting with my daughter playing MY collectible Monopoly game!  They had also helped themselves to sandwiches in the kitchen.

That's when the kids became officially grounded.  No cartoons, no friends, nothing at all for one week that might be considered remotely fun.  And dinner?  Dinner is exactly what I make without regard to their tastes.  If they don't want it, they can go ahead and go to bed.  No one has to eat what I make, but they don't get anything else.  And that has continued past the grounding period.  I love not worrying about pleasing them.   Awe, food freedom.

All was well until about mid week when they started acting up again.  Twice, I found the jar of peanut butter out on the counter, lid off, and a spoon stuck in it.  And that is when I pulled a knife from the magnetic knife rack behind the stove and stuck it straight into that hot air balloon beach ball.  This got their attention.  It also felt really good for me.  Kind of therapeutic really.  I wasn't just over peanut butter though.  My daughter waited until I was feeding the baby to jack the gummy vitamins and take them to her room.  I'm getting mad right now thinking about that one.
Chore assignment:  Diaper duty
My brother's girlfriends's parents came on Sunday instead of Friday which gave me much needed extra time to prepare and overall I feel that our little gathering was a big success.  They're from China and this was their first time in the states.  Also this is the first time that we have ever been introduced to a girlfriend's family.  Needless to say, I felt the pressure to be an excellent hostess.  I think everyone enjoyed the visit.  Her parents didn't speak any English so she and my brother had to translate for us, but the conversation flowed really well regardless  and everyone seemed very relaxed and comfortable.  My brother suddenly became worlds greatest Uncle, holding Oliver and playing with the older two.  I absolutely love meeting people from other places and it's even cooler seeing my brother interact with them and speak their language.

I'm really worried about my old ass dog.  He's getting around worse and just two days ago I noticed a big cut on his butt.  I don't know how he got it.  He's also getting thinner and thinner no matter how much he eats.  He's at the end of his rope and I just wish I knew what to do to make him more comfortable.  **Sigh** Poor old Slim.

Sorry for this super long post.  I usually pride my blog on being a very quick and easy read.  I promise I won't it a habit!

-Hugh Jass


  1. Oh my god, I thought I was going to choke I laughed so hard. I'm sorry you had a crappy time but holy cow that picture of Oliver and the pee story had me in tears!!! I LOVE how you write!

  2. I'm in that same pattern with the kids eating...making food to suit them. You are doing the right thing and I probably need to follow suit. If they don't eat, they don't eat. The pickiness drives me BATTY!!!

    And way to go on popping the ball....We mother's need our victories somewhere!!!!!!

  3. LOVE the TWSS onesie! haha, oh yea. And you're exactly right, it's impossible to run regularly with the kids in tow and no husband around. Now that I'm working in an office again, Kelley didn't get to run at all while the kids were on track out. it's really tough. Hang in there!